Shattered
by banners-shattered-glasses
Summary: After having an argument with Tony, Bruce wakes up in a destroyed lab, realizing once more that he would never be able to keep the Hulk under control. Tony, watching his friend's struggle, tries to make him feel secure for a while.


**A/N** : This is my first English fanfiction and as I am not a native speaker, I apologize for any mistakes that may occur.

Thanks to DracosDNA for doing the beta.

* * *

The first thing Bruce noticed when he regained consciousness was the common chaos the Other Guy tended to leave. Feeling guilty, he looked around. The lab at 35th floor of Stark Tower hat been destroyed entirely: Broken glass remained on the ground, broken desks, broken metal, broken machines, broken everything.

"Tony?" he asked embarrassed, his voice trembling.

Nobody answered.

"Jarvis?"

Even the A.I. did not reply. A horrible thought crossed his mind: What if the Other Guy had killed Tony, had punched him so hard that he could not answer because he was _dead_? Suddenly he felt sick so that he had to sit down on the cold floor, barely capable to suppress any tears. He pressed his forehead against his knees, clasping them with his arms, trying to compose himself and get calm.

He tried to remember what had happened that made him angry, and he recalled the situation: Tony standing in front of the large monitor, telling him not to always hide behind his formulas in the lab, to go outside and to 'enjoy the comforts of a hero's life'. Bruce had not let himself get distracted from his work, telling Tony that he would never be the kind of hero Iron Man pretended to be. This had always been a huge issue – even though he really liked Tony, he hated his naivety of thinking that everyone was a playboy seeking for public attention and pretty girls for one night, just as he did. A couple of hours ago, they had argued about it again. But this time, Tony had not let Bruce put him off.

'You know,' he had said, 'You are like a snail. Everything you do is retreating into your shell every time you feel offended just a _touch_.'

'What do you suggest?' he had replied cynically, 'Becoming an alcoholic like you?'

Just a second after saying that he had recognized that this was one of the most offending insults he could have confronted Tony with. Before he had had the chance to apologize Tony had squared off against him, telling him that he had to stop wallowing in self-pity, to stop getting affected too much by what the Hulk had done (he actually said 'the Hulk' which additionally increased Bruces heart rate). Bravely, Bruce had swallowed all the reproaches without explaining himself.

In the end Tony had almost shouted, 'Do you remember what you told the Captain in New York? You were _always angry_! Don't make me laugh! There's not even the slightest piece of anger inside you, you're not even _capable_ to feel something like that! No, you're a snail inside a shell! You're not always angry, you're always _scared_!'

This had been the point when Bruce had felt the Other Guy taking over his brain; his thoughts had filled with rage and deep disappointment; he had felt his muscles grow bigger and stronger until he finally had lost consciousness.

Now he was sitting on the floor of a destroyed lab, feeling cold, exhausted, and guilty.

"Tony," he whimpered again, then closed his eyes and tried to stay calm, to keep himself under control. As he looked up he saw a pair of trousers and a new shirt lying near the broken door. He got up slowly in order not to pass out again, grabbed the clothes and put them on.

"Tony?" he asked as he had finished dressing, feeling his heart rate rise again when there was no reply.

He leaned against the wall that obviously had sustained the Other Guy's smashing, tumbling down to the ground again and covering his face with his hands, realizing once more that this time, like many other times before, he had not been able to keep the monster inside him under control.

The will to live had left him long ago, but he could not do anything but to carry on after the attempt to end it all had failed miserably. The Other Guy would never allow him to die, he would always be there and win fights; unlike Bruce who sometimes thought that it could not be possible to lose as many battles as he did.

Sitting in the destroyed lab, feeling cold in spite of the clothes, he was not able to stop himself from crying. The trembling was all over his body, he could hardly breathe, and he felt as if he was falling down a giant black hole, falling down, on an on …

"Hey Bruce." Tony's voice retrieved him back to reality.

He looked up shyly, trying to hide his tears, but when he saw the expression at Tony's face he realized that it had not worked.

"Bruce, I … I'm sorry," he said, resting his hand on his shoulder. "I didn't want you to …" He looked around for a moment, examining the lab. "That's not a big deal, don't worry about that. There could have been worse places to transform … like … a china shop."

Bruce urged himself to smile but it did not work. He knew that Tony had to calm him down, even if it was only to prevent another attack, but he intensely tried, focusing on his own breath.

"I … I'm sorry," he said strained, trying to keep his heart rate low. "I … I … I didn't want to … I …"

"Shh!" Tony said, taking off his jacket and placing it on Bruces shoulders while moving closer to him. "Everything's okay," he whispered, running his hand over Bruces back.

"I … I just don't want … Dammit, I can't stand this anymore!" he shouted in despair, knowing that nothing would ever end this suffering. He posed a threat; even towards his best friend he was not able to keep his emotions under control, how could he ever enjoy anything? How could he ever protect the world from the terrible creature inside him?

Ashamed he realized that he could not stop himself from crying again.

"Hey," Tony said softly, "Look at me."

Bruce turned away his head, he could not.

"Come on, look at me," he repeated, grabbing his chin and turning his head so that he had to look into Tony's eyes that were filled with concern.

Embarrassed he lowered his gaze, not able to look at him. "I … I just want … just want everything to end," he sobbed.

Tony put his arms around him and pulled him up to his body. Faintly, Bruce let it happen and felt a tiny spark of security. Still trembling, he whispered, "I … I simply want to …"

"Shh," Tony replied, affectionately stroking his hair. "I can't bear it to see you like this. I can't bear hearing you say things like this. So just stop it, okay? Everyone's safe here, _you_ are safe here. You didn't hurt anyone."

"The lab," Bruce said shyly.

Tony stopped him with a wave of his hand. "Peanuts."

Bruce remained silent, leaning against Tony, trying to focus on his breath which went down to an almost normal frequency.

"I'm sorry," he repeated after a while, but Tony shook his head.

"No, _I_ am sorry. I should have not overreacted."

Bruce nodded. "Me too …"

"So," Tony said, stroking Bruces back, "I heard that in Brazil you've learned some party tricks to circumvent the whole rage-anger-thing … Would you mind showing me some of them?"

Bruce smiled. "Of course not. But … not now."

After some moments of silence, Tony asked, "You don't want to stand up yet, do you?"

"If you don't mind," he answered, lying in Tony's arms and feeling secure for the first time since the gamma accident, protected by a man who probably liked him much more than he would admit.


End file.
